I loved Khadija Chapter Ten
She was shocked and astonished, and she covered her mouth with her hand to prevent a loud gasp and scream.
She saw him sitting at the table in front of him, leveling a white powder with his credit card. Then he took a hollow tube, put it in his nose, and inhaled it!!
Yes, he was taking drugs!!
Oh God, what is this?!
What is happening to me? What is this punishment I am facing?
The words came out with difficulty from her lips, as she cried in shock.
Khadija: Marwan. You are taking drugs.
He was startled by her voice, and he realized her presence. He was angry that she had entered and seen him in this shameful and disgraceful state.
He rushed towards her and covered her mouth with his hand in anger. He closed the door behind her, fearing that someone would hear her. He roared at her angrily and nervously.
Marwan: Shut your mouth. I swear to God, if any creature finds out what you just saw, I will kill you, Khadija. You understand.
She removed his hand that was gagging her and whispered with tears and pain.
Khadija: Why... Why, Marwan? Why did you do this?
He tried to hide his embarrassment with her. Proudly,
Marwan: What's it to you? I'm free.
Khadija: No, I'm not free. I'm your wife and I have rights over you. And I can't accept living with you. And you're a drug addict. You hear me? If you continue like this and you're stubborn, then divorce me.
The words fell on his ears like a thunderbolt. What did she say, divorce?!
He lost control and raised his hand in the air, landing on her face with a powerful blow that knocked her off balance and caused her to fall to the ground, holding her aching cheek and wiping the blood that had dripped from the side of her mouth from the blow.
He didn't stop there. He came down beside her and grabbed her by her hijab, which had come off easily in his hand. He grabbed her hair tightly and shook it violently, threatening her.
Marwan: What did you say? Listen to me again. Divorce! What kind of divorce are you asking for? I am Marwan Al-Ghandour, and his wife is asking him for a divorce. This will be with your death, Khadija. Do you hear me? With your death?
I am the one who decides. Should I divorce you or not? Not you. And I will send you away from me again. No one will hear about what happened. It will be the last day of your life. Do you hear me?
She pushed his hand away, took her hijab and niqab, and quickly put them on. She ran out of his room, crying, unable to see what was in front of her. She almost fell several times as she walked down the hallway. She was so driven that she almost fell, but she found herself in two strong arms that held her tightly. She found herself in his arms. She looked up at him, and it was him. Her tormentor and the cause of her misery. Her hidden lover. Zain.
He looked at her with concern and panic at her current state, her frightening escape from something he didn't know, and her sad, tearful eyes. She tore his heart out and startled him, and he asked her with concern.
Zain: "Dijah, are you okay? Why are you running like this? Why are you crying? What happened?"
She tore herself from his arms harshly and roughly. She held him responsible for her current situation and the consequences of her sadness and loss. She ran away from him to her room, slamming the door behind her violently and forcefully.
He was astonished by her actions; she didn't even answer him and ran away without a word. He was deeply saddened. Since she returned with his brother from their wedding vacation, he had only seen her a few times and hadn't had the chance to talk to her or check on her. She always ignored him. He wanted nothing more than to be reassured about her and see her happy.
But what was wrong with her now, why were she running away and crying?
Of course it was him, and no one else, that foolish, reckless Marwan. He must have angered her; she was definitely coming from his room. He clenched his fist and rushed towards his brother's room, opened it, and entered, but didn't find him in the room.
Moments later, he found him coming out of the bathroom. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and was drying his head with the other.
He was surprised that his brother had entered his room at this time and asked him,
Marwan: "Zain?! What's wrong? What brought you here now?"
Zain angrily: "What did you do to Khadija that made her run out like that, crying?" Marwan nonchalantly: It's none of your business. My wife and I'm free to do whatever she wants with you.
Zain tries to control his nerves as much as he can so as not to smash the head of this stupid provocateur.
How many times do I have to tell you that Dija matters to me just like you do? You're my brother and she's my sister. I won't allow you to insult or hurt her, you understand? And straighten up and go back to your room. I don't understand this whole story of you sleeping alone. You would have loved to have her just a few months ago.
Marwan put on his cotton pants and t-shirt and walked in front of the mirror and started to brush his hair coldly.
I'm fed up. It's okay, you know I get bored quickly.
He put down the brush and turned to him. He said, "I want you to stop this whole 'sister-me-sorry' thing. You know me well; I don't like anyone to dictate to me. I'm free to do whatever I want with my wife. You can mind your own business. Do you hear me? Go to your room now, I want to sleep."
He was surprised by his brother's coldness and his bad language about Khadija. Was he really bored with her? Had he really never loved her to begin with? Was it just an experience? And now he was bored with her, a toy he'd played with, bored and fed up.
He looked at him and found him lying on the bed, closing his eyes.
Marwan: Turn off the light and take the door in your hand. Goodbye.
He gritted his teeth in anger. He left, slamming the door behind him. He went to his room and paced back and forth, almost exploding. He wanted to go to her, check on her, and hug her to his chest. When he saw her eyes crying, he felt his heart ripple with pain.
He entered his room's balcony, inhaling the air, hoping to quell the fire of his longing for her and the burning desire in his body for her.
As he stood there, he looked at the room and inhaled the air. He heard the whisper of sobs and muffled gasps. He looked and found her sitting on the floor of her balcony, her legs crossed, crying silently and sadly.
He became more and more frightened. What's wrong with her? Why is she crying? Why is she sitting like this?
What did that psychopath do to you, my little one?
He called her quietly, passionately and worriedly.
Zain: "Dija, what happened? Why are you crying? What made you sit like this? Tell me about yourself. I'm worried about you."
She raised her head and looked at him reproachfully. She wanted to scream at him and tell him that you were the reason. You were the one who gave me hope. You were the one who imagined and fantasized about his love and his abandonment of me. You were the one who made me take revenge on him. I wanted to prove to you that I am a woman and I have grown up, not the little girl you used to sit on your lap in the past. I have become a loving, adoring girl. But alas, I slaughtered myself with my own hands. I killed my heart and threw myself into the fire. The fire of your neglectful, addicted brother. The one who insulted me and slapped me, and God knows what else fate has in store for me.
All of this was a thought she was talking about, wishing she could scream at him and throw him in the face.
His face. But I preferred to remain silent. What good was it to reveal the secret now? Nothing. He had never seen me as anything but a little sister. He bore her burdens and responsibilities while she was away from her family. He would never see her otherwise. Never.
That's what she thought.
She didn't answer him a single word and got up weakly and feebly from her seat. She entered her room, closed the window of her balcony, and threw herself on the bed. She cried and cried until she fell asleep, crying and sad.
As for him, after she ignored him and didn't respond, he became more and more angry and worried. He realized that the matter was serious.
She was in pain. Yes, she was in silent pain.
I wonder what you are hiding from me, my love. What happened to you?
He grabbed his head tightly, almost ripping out his hair from the intensity of his anger. He entered his room and sat on the couch. Thinking about her, himself, and the state they had both found themselves in. But his eyelids didn't sleep, and his body didn't rest. All night long.
In the morning, he went in to take a cold shower despite the cold weather. However, he didn't feel the cold; instead, his body felt like a ball of fire.
His heart never calmed down until he was reassured about her and knew the reason for her condition.
He finished his shower, put on his clothes, and went downstairs to find her sitting with his mother at the breakfast table. She looked sad and exhausted. It seemed she hadn't enjoyed sleeping like him.
He sat quietly, opposite the volcano raging inside him.
Zain: Good morning.
Fatima: Good morning, my love. What's wrong with you too? You look so worried. Isn't Dija enough?
Zain, anxiously and worried, said, "What's wrong with Dija?" He looked at her tenderly. "What's wrong with you since yesterday? What happened? Just tell me. If Marwan is the one who upset you?" By God Almighty, I will get your rights from him. Just say what's wrong.
Fatima worriedly: What's wrong? What happened yesterday? I don't understand.
Zain sighed in confusion at his little girl's silence: I don't know, Mom. I came back late that night on my way to my room. I ran into Dija running from Marwan's room. She was about to fall, and I caught up with her while she was crying. I asked her what was wrong, but she didn't answer. She sat crying on her balcony all night, not wanting to tell me what was wrong.
Fatima looked worriedly at Khadija, who was silently wiping away her tears.
Fatima: What happened, my daughter? Did Marwan upset you? Tell me, I swear I'll be the one to put an end to it, but just tell me what's wrong.
Their conversation was interrupted by Marwan coming down. He sat down with utter indifference. He greeted them with a sigh.
Marwan: Good morning. He looked at her, threatening her if she uttered a word.
She looked at him angrily, disgusted with him and his shameful actions.
Fatima looked at them and realized that he was behind her situation. She looked at him and spoke reproachfully.
Marwan: What's wrong? Your wife is upset and crying and doesn't want to tell you what's wrong with her. What did you do to her yesterday?
He looked at her and answered as coldly as ever.
Marwan: She didn't do anything. Ask her what's wrong with her.
Fatima sighed: There is no god but God. I told you to ask her and she didn't answer.
Zain angrily: I think you definitely know. Because you're the one who upset her. Speak up and stop being so spiteful.
He got up from his seat, glaring at them sarcastically.
Marwan: I said I didn't do anything. And I don't want a headache.
I'm leaving. I'll be late for work.
He looked at her arrogantly. "Are you ready so I can take you to university?"
Khadija, without looking at him, said, "I'm not going to university today. I want to visit my mom. I miss her."
He glared at her angrily and gritted his teeth. He was afraid she would go there and expose him.
Marwan, angrily, said, "Why today? Why do you want to go? You can't go out alone. She'll come with you here."
Khadija angrily got up from her seat and roared at him angrily, "Why are you controlling me like this? I want to visit my mom. She's not obligated to come here. She comes whenever she wants. You understand. And also, I'll go by myself. Did you lock me up and I didn't know?"
He approached her, gritting his teeth, almost breaking them. He was so angry, "You've definitely gone crazy. How could you answer me like that?" What do you think? You won't go alone. And if you like it?
Khadeeja, stubbornly and defiantly: No, I don't like it. I'm going to visit my mother.
His anger reached its peak at her defiance. He raised his hand and was about to repeat yesterday's action. He slapped her, but he found an iron fist squeezing his wrist tightly, almost breaking it.
It was him, Zain. He removed his hand and pushed him away forcefully and frantically, standing between them, seething with rage. Gritting his teeth frantically, he roared at him.
Zain, with devastating jealousy: You've definitely gone crazy. You want to lay a hand on her in front of me too? What kind of madness is this? Don't even think I'd let you do that, you understand? Except Khadeeja, Marwan. I won't break your hand... No, I'll break your brain and your bones... You understand?
Marwan pushed him angrily, but Zain's strength and determination prevented him from moving a muscle: "Why do you interfere in what's none of your business? She's my wife and I'm free to raise her however I want."
Zain angrily punched him hard in the chest, a painful blow: "You're dreaming... that I'll leave her to you... I'm the one who'll lock you up from now on, and don't you even think about repeating what you were going to do. I swear to God I'll kill you... Do you hear me?"
Marwan angrily: "Listen, I'm fed up with you. I'm..."
His mother's scream cut off his words and curses.
Fatima: "Enough. Listen to me. You married a decent girl to protect her and fear God with her. Not to hit her and humiliate her. I will never allow you to do that." You understand, and Zain is right. Like her brother, he needs to shut you up. Think about it and fear God in dealing with other people's daughters. For your information, Khadija will go to her mother. She needs to talk to her mother. Why are you preventing her from seeing her family as well?
Marwan clenched his fist angrily as he tried to control himself, as they all scolded him and sided with her. "Okay, let's settle our score, Khadija, you and I."
Marwan impatiently said, "She won't go out alone, and I won't wait for her. I have work to do. I'm not going to waste any time.
Khadija defiantly said, "I'm going to my mother today. I'm not a little girl, and I don't need to wait for you to take me there."
He clenched his fist and was about to punch her, but she hid behind Zain, stood behind him, and grabbed his shirt tightly, seeking protection.
Zain angrily said: You look stupid and don't understand. I told you not to lay a hand on her, understand... Go Marwan... Go... I'll take her to her mother. And don't you dare think about doing what you wanted to do again. Because that's not manly... A man would lay a hand on me, I'm a man to a man, not to a bird like her. Marwan looked at her and said
Bashar: Okay, Khadija. I'll let you go. But if you ever say one word, I'll cut out your tongue. And you understand me well...
Fatima, surprised: What are you saying? What did you do to her?
Marwan, angrily: He didn't do anything. What's wrong? They hired lawyers on her behalf. I'm free to deal with my wife, not constantly being questioned and asked. What's wrong? I'm fed up. I swear I'll take her and live far away from here. And raise her the way I want.
Zain: I swear you've definitely gone crazy. Whose upbringing? She was raised in the best way. But you're the one who doesn't take care of cleanliness. Go now. We'll talk later. You've got a headache. Go...
Marwan, annoyed with her, because she's the reason for what happened, and he's angry at his mother and brother: Better yet, I can't stand her anyway. But listen, don't let her go out alone, you understand?
Zain crossed his arms sarcastically: "You don't need to tell me that. Take care... I'm with her... I'll eat."
He glared at her threateningly and left, seething with anger.
He closed his eyes in pain, still feeling her small fists clinging to his shirt. He sighed regretfully at the fear and panic he'd experienced from his crazy brother. He turned to her, looking at her tenderly. The scum in her eyes, their sadness, and her falling tears were killing him... "Oh, my little one, how cruel is my fate and yours... that made you fall in love with this psychopath..."
Zain said tenderly and gently: "What did Marwan do to you? If you're really going to your family to complain about him, tell me, and I'll stop him... I swear. Just talk... I don't feel comfortable with you..."
She looked down angrily and started crying.
His heart ached for her... Could he have done something she's ashamed to mention?... Oh, you idiot! Oh, you...
Zain felt a lump in his throat: "Okay, if you're embarrassed by me, tell my mom. She'll understand... For my sake."
Fatima approached her and hugged her lovingly, and she cried into his chest: "What's wrong, my love? Tell me what
happened."
Khadija gently got out of her embrace, tears streaming down her cheeks: "Nothing. I just want to see my mom. She needs me to sit with her, maybe I'll rest..."
Fatima: "Okay, light of my eye. Go get dressed and come here, I'll take you to her."
She looked at him reproachfully and painfully. "No, it's okay. I don't want to tire him out. I'll take a taxi. He must have work to do."
He looked at her longingly and longingly: "What work? You're more important. Go get dressed and come here, I'll take you. I'm waiting for you." Oh, my darling, come on.
Fatima patted her shoulder with a smile: "Go, my love, get dressed, don't be late. Zain won't leave you."
She looked at him reproachfully and regretfully. "He won't leave me." Really? He really did leave me... deserted me and tore my heart apart... and that's it.
Zain: "Dija, I want to tell you something important in front of my mother. If at any time Marwan even thinks of laying a hand on you, run and come to me, and I swear I'll break him in front of you. Do you understand? Don't let him hit you while you keep quiet. Come to me quickly."
She looked at him with gratitude and love and nodded: "Yes, with your permission."
She turned around quietly and went up to her room, changed her clothes, went downstairs, and went with him. They got into the car together. He started the engine and drove off.
They both longed and yearned to be together in one place...
She felt that even though she was angry with him and that he was the reason for her marriage to his brother, she still loved him. She wished to throw herself into his arms, cry, complain, and release everything that weighed on her and exhausted her. There was no embrace in this world better than his.
He silently wished the same thing. He wanted to stop the car and hold her close, to make her feel his love and affection. To reassure her, as he sensed that she was deeply sad and worried. But there was nothing he could do, as she was not his. He could not touch her or express what was in his heart toward her.
He wanted to break the silence that pervaded the car between them.
Zain: "Uh-huh. What are you saying? Would you like me to play something to amuse you until we arrive?"
Khadeeja nonchalantly: "It doesn't matter, it's okay."
Zain turned on the music player, and luckily for her, he was unlucky. The music rose and the words made her heart pound violently and her tears fell silently as she covered her face against the car window next to her so he wouldn't see them.
I loved him to myself and I didn't tell him what was on my mind. I don't know what happens to me when I see his eyes. I no longer know what to say to him. I don't know why I kept it from him. I was so weak when I was next to him and greeted him. All the love in this world is for you in my heart. You are the most precious person to me, my soul is in you. If you were in front of me, I would miss you.
I'm thinking of you, but you don't know what happened to me. And the nights will last for years, preoccupied with every word you said to me.
She closed her eyes in pain. These words touched her wound, as she blamed herself for constantly thinking about him, while he didn't know anything about her that she secretly loved. She let out a hot sigh that filled her with pain and deep hurt.
As for him, he gritted his teeth tightly, and the veins in his neck protruded from his anger at himself and his delay in asking her to marry him. He wished he had proposed sooner, because she was no longer with him. She was now his wife, not his brother's. His words had hurt him and made him rebuke a lot.
I loved him to myself, but I didn't tell him what was going on inside me. I don't know what happens to me when I look into his eyes. I no longer know what to say to him. I don't know why I kept it from him. I was so weak, beside him, shaking his hand.
If words could express tenderness, I would have said that I loved you long ago. Every day, the longing grows, it's obvious.
I'm thinking, don't you know what's happening to me?
He gripped the car tightly. He was furious at himself for not telling her about his love from the beginning. He was more deserving of her than his brother. He didn't value her value, he never loved her like me. Never.
The two of them arrived in front of Khadija's house. He parked the car in front of the building. He turned to her. He glanced at her affectionately. He smiled.
Zain: We've arrived, Dija. Would you like to come out with me?
She was lost in thought and didn't notice their arrival until she heard his voice. She turned to him and saw his charming smile that melted her with love.
Khadija: Of course, it's light. But I'm going to the mosque before I go out. I want to say goodbye to my wallet before I leave the house. I haven't seen it since the day I got married.
Zain with admiration: You love her so much that you want to go to her before you see your mother.
Khadija sighed tiredly: I really love her. She's been with me since I was little and raised me. I also feel comfortable talking to her calmly and am very comfortable with her words.
Zain smiled: Okay, whatever makes you happy. Would you like me to pass by and I'll go?
Khadija: Uh-hmm. Marwan isn't coming, come pick me up.
Zain: I don't know, he didn't say anything. Would you like me to call and ask him?
Khadija: No, no, I'll call him and ask him. Go to work. You're really busy, I know.
Zain closed his eyes longingly: "What's the matter with me? You give me a break."
I'll drive you every day, don't worry. If you like, I'll take you to university every day instead of Marwan. I'm at your service.
Khadija smiled. Despite herself, "Ummm. You'll quit your job and work as a driver."
Zain laughed happily, "Hahahahaha. And I'll grow up to be the driver of the little Dija Hanem who lights up the house and the world."
She looked at him adoringly and asked unconsciously, "Do you still see me as young?"
Yes, Zain, until today.
Her question surprised him, and his gaze hardened, his eyes gazing into hers with passion. "Yes, I see you as young. You're my beloved, my darling, and my spoiled one. But you're the most complete woman I've ever seen. You do to me what the toughest and most exciting women couldn't do."
But he couldn't utter a single word of this. He came out of his reverie and looked away with difficulty, taking a deep breath.
Zain: "Uh-huh." Of course, until you become unable to bear it, I will continue to see you as the little Dija who used to run after me, cling to my neck, and ask me for chocolate. Do you remember, Dija?
I felt great pain and hurt, and a strong desire to cry. I quickly decided to escape from him before she lost control and burst into tears in his arms. She closed her eyes tightly and sighed in despair.
Khadija: Yes, of course I remember. Excuse me, I'm going down.
She opened the car door, got out, and closed it again.
He got out as well and looked at her from the top of the car with a look of tenderness, but with a tone of fear and concern.
Zain: Dija, take care of yourself. If you don't want Marwan to take you, call me. I'll come to you quickly. Don't worry. We've agreed.
Khadija nodded gently: God willing, God will make it easy. Goodbye.
She turned and left him and headed to the mosque. He watched her with the eyes of a frightened lover, wanting to reassure herself. After she entered the mosque, he put on his sunglasses, got into his car, and drove off.
She entered the mosque and searched for her wallet. She found her sitting in a Quran circle surrounded by a number of women and girls. She was reading, and they were repeating after her.
She went directly to her. She sat in the circle in silence. Until the circle ended, she eagerly reached for her wallet and embraced it in a long, passionate, and tender embrace.
Hafsa happily took the wallet: My dear Khadija, I miss you sooo much. By God, I'm doing well. What's up with the wedding?
Khadija, lost and sad, was evident in her features and voice.
Khadija: I'm tired and I need you sooo much. Sooo much. And she cried heartbreakingly.
Hafsa, fearfully and suspiciously: There is no power or strength except in God. What's wrong with you, my daughter?
Khadija told her everything from the beginning. She didn't hide or cover anything up. She wanted advice, and the right advice. She wouldn't get it if she lied or hid anything. After she finished speaking, Hafsa's features darkened and she muttered, "I seek forgiveness from God Almighty. Where was your mind, Khadija, when you did this? Why, when you were certain that he didn't feel for you and came to propose to his brother, didn't you reject Marwan? Why did you marry him when your heart wasn't his? Why would you marry someone when your heart and mind were with someone else? And he's not just anyone. He's his brother, the closest person to him. You didn't think that you might weaken one day and get close to him, and that something bad might happen. Let's suppose he felt for you and realized that you loved him. You didn't think about what might happen then, with you on his brother's side. Why didn't you come and tell me? Why?" Khadija, with tears of remorse and guilt: I swear to God, it was against my will. The devil made everything seem good to me. He took advantage of my weakness and confusion. Manar told me the same thing, but since then I've been trying to distance myself from him. I swear I haven't talked to him much or been around him much. He's also not home all the time. But Marwan's change with me and his addiction that I discovered has made me even more tired and hurt. I don't know what to do. I must get a divorce.
Hafsa, thinking wisely: And it's your duty. What do you have to do?
Khadija, not understanding: I don't understand what you mean!
Hafsa: I mean you have to think about God's wisdom in all of this. Yes, you were wrong, but everything is predestined. And God wants you to marry Marwan. Isn't it possible that you will guide him and make him repent? And you also have to repent from the sin of loving Zein and getting involved with him in his ordeal. And his situation will improve and you will live comfortably with him... Khadija, my daughter, God sometimes revives hearts with dead hearts... He awakens feelings with dead feelings... He saves people with the destruction of others... But what is certain is that everything is according to what our hands have earned, and God does not wrong anyone... The bottom line is that everything that happened was according to the wisdom and plan of your Lord... Be patient, try, seek forgiveness, and seek help from God, perhaps He will ease your heart and remove your worries... Your Lord is Compassionate and Generous... and He cannot wrong you... Look for the wisdom behind your marriage and your suffering... Maybe your heart will be soothed...
Khadija, thinking and comforted by the words in her wallet: What if Marwan refuses... and does not change and does not want treatment? What should I do then..!!?
Hafsa: Then you have done what you were supposed to do and you have your excuse... Then I will be the one who tells you to get a divorce. But the important thing is that you did your best and didn't hold back any effort or attempt...
Khadija closed her eyes wearily and exhaled deeply, "Okay, I'll do what you said... and I'll try... but please pray for me, I need your prayers."
Hafsa smiled warmly, "I'll pray for you, my dear, and you too, pray and supplicate. God willing, He will guide your steps and help you through what He has afflicted you."
Khadija left her house, determined to challenge herself and Marwan. She vowed to do her best and try to help Marwan through his ordeal. She went to her mother and spent the day with her. Her father, her brother, and his wife, Manar, also came. She and her family spent a wonderful time filled with laughter, humor, beautiful emotions, and warmth. That evening, she called Marwan and asked him to come and take her home.
He was waiting for her in the car downstairs from the building until she came down. When she got into the car with him, he drove off, angry at her for the argument that broke out between them that morning. He didn't know whether she had exposed him to her family or not.
Khadija looked at him calmly: "Marwan, can we talk somewhere quiet before we go home?"
Marwan looked at her questioningly, not knowing whether she was angry or satisfied. What did she intend to do with him? "Why?"
Khadija gently: "No, no. I want to stay up late with my husband for a while. Is there anything wrong with that?"
Marwan softened his mischievous expression and smiled: "No, there's nothing wrong with that. I'll take you somewhere amazing."
In a very upscale and tasteful restaurant. They were sitting together.
Marwan: "Huh, what do you think of this place? It's nice.!"
Khadija smiled: "Yes, it's very nice and quiet."